Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Mother's Day

禮拜天早上,在慈濟,做浴佛典禮的司儀。
典禮結束後,雅菲師姑笑嘻嘻的蹦了過來,
“Lei, 今天母親節要怎麼慶祝?“
“我們中午要到Jimmy馬麻家吃飯!“
“那,你有沒有打電話回台灣跟你自己的馬麻說說話啊?“
我,停頓了一會兒,不知道該不該解釋,
結果很尷尬的吐出了幾個自己也聽起來很陌生的字,
“師姑... 我母親不在了。“
“喔.... 對不起“
空氣僵住了幾秒鐘,
那時我們是排排站,面對來浴佛的會眾,
轉頭看了師姑一眼,
發現師姑的眼框紅腫,大顆大顆的眼淚奪框而出。
也許是有感而發,也許是想到師姑自己的母親,
有些時候人與人之間是不需要太多的語言,
安靜的把手搭在他的肩膀上,
自己的眼框也慢慢開始積水。

猛一想,老媽離開我們盡然有十五年了,
那年,老媽三十九歲,我十五,康康十二。
早些年,會很刻意的不去思念母親,
把那份感情冷凍,密封,藏在角落,
畢竟對把拔,康,和自己,都是一段太痛苦的回憶。
過了這麼多年,才比較能坦然的思念,釋放,甚至開開玩笑。

媽媽有個美麗的名字,凌芙蓉。
是一個說一口台灣國語,煮一手江浙好菜的,平凡媽媽。
老媽笑聲大,朋友多,動作快,個性直爽,愛唱歌,愛跳舞,
走到哪裡,笑聲就跟到哪裡,大而化之,但偶而會有點脫線。
(可惜她走的早,要不然很適合做慈濟)
馬麻彈一手好鋼琴的,我們小的時候,有收過幾個學生貼補家用,
可惜“好竹出歹筍“,康康和我都彈了一手的屎琴。
在還沒嫁給老爸前,老媽是個幼稚園老師,
結婚後,好像有做過一陣子的代課老師,有了小孩後,就沒上過班。
雖然是家庭主婦,老媽的生活過的比大家都多姿多采,有勁。
早上招呼我們上學後,就去公園跳土風舞,
中午送便當到學校(因為我們不喜歡吃蒸過的便當),
下午到學校做輔導媽媽,晚上和三姑六婆講電話,
我媽講電話的工夫可是一流的,我呢,最喜歡趴在他的大腿上偷聽。
週末呢,會集合幾個社區的媽媽,帶我們爬紗帽山,洗溫泉,吃山菜。
大致上是一個精力旺盛,沖滿喜感,喜歡熱鬧的媽媽。

前幾天才開玩笑的說,如果能打電話給往生的人該有多好,
如果老媽知道老爸交大碩士班順利畢業,康康考上華航的機師,
不難想像老媽高興,蹦蹦跳跳,到處炫耀,誇張卻天真的樣子。

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

woww, such wonderful and detailed descriptions. i wish i got to meet your mama nehh!

you know, after coming to new york to study and finding out that many of you have single parent, it really makes me appreciate how lucky i am to have them both. it is truly a treasure that nothing can replace.

im sure your mommy is very very proud of you and your brother's accomplishments today! =)

Anonymous said...

看你的文章, 忍不住掉下眼淚
彷彿看到小時後記得的你馬麻的樣子...
好感動

嗯, 其實leigo你長得很像媽媽喔!
應該連髮型都很像~

Anonymous said...

抱一抱

Leigo said...

eueu - 是啊,有著麼好的爸媽,你好幸福喔,要珍惜。

cadeaux - 對啊,我們是蠻像的!我也還記得你們家的大千照相館,小龍阿姨,和葉小云家的美容院。童年啊!

yoyo - 抱抱!也抱抱之之北鼻。

Anonymous said...

阿媽?芙蓉沒福氣看到兩個小孩這麼棒
Joe Ling

Leigo said...

大舅:人生啊,真的難說。有時候隱隱約約的覺得,媽媽的走,間接成全了康康,把拔,和我。如果馬麻沒走,我不會那麼獨立,康康不會去開飛機,把拔也不會脫胎換骨。因緣和合,奇妙甚深啊。替我像阿媽和大家問個好。∼ 蕾蕾

Anonymous said...

so how about having some children. Long time ago there was a song,"the future is not allow us to see". You know nobody has the ability to manage the future, we just have to be brave and do our best, and then pray.
Joe Ling

Leigo said...

大舅,你老是說小孩!
最近我們也有在思考這個問題,
可是想不通生小孩到底有什麼的好處?
太痛,太貴,風險大,報酬率又低,麻煩死了!

IRON said...

yeah, very touching. This article made me cry. I just lost my father 4 years ago. He died from car accident.
I am sorry that your mom passed away when you were so young. I truly believe you are and will be a good mom Lei. Add oil!!

IRON

ah boo said...

My mom passed away when I was 8, she was 38. I was brought up my grandparents (mom side). My grandma passed away a month before I gave birth to Byran. They are the most important women in my life. I felt so lost!
But now I have a little one, I can not imagine his life without me! Don't think anyone can take care him the way I do.
I think you're amazing, your mom would be so proud! xoxo

ah boo said...

This is Kelly~

Leigo said...

Kelly - 八歲好小喔。心疼死了。一路上的碰碰撞撞不是每個人能體會的。對家和穩定也有特別的渴望。現在外婆和媽媽知道你有了自己的家庭,穩定幸福,她們會很安慰的